['If this weren't on the journal, I have a feeling I would have a sharp finger poking me in the chest right now. What I garnered from all that is that Haruhi doesn't want to tell me who it is.']

Well, I'm not trying to have your affairs, uh, spread all over me... ['In fact, in the literal sense, I can think of few things I want less...'] ...but it still seems like something important in your life that might warrant at least explaining who or what you mean.

['"What" she means? I mean, I would be relieved if she were talking about a ...

Was I really just about to think "I would be relieved if she were talking about a vibrator"?

I need to go wash my brain with acid.']