4 ~ I have never believed in Santa, ever. [audio]

[menial]

...So, it's getting close to the end of the month again, but nothing weird seems to be happening. Or am I missing something? Anyone know if we might just be getting a reprieve or something? Or maybe I just shouldn't look the gift horse in the mouth.

['Because I don't believe in the Malnosso being Santa Claus to us.'

However, that's not the main purpose for this post; instead, he goes on with a filter he worked for a while on. Ideally, Asakura won't suspect it at all.]

[filtered to Shiki, Minato, Winry, Rise, SOS Brigade members who have interacted with him before, and other close-enough CR (PM me if you're not sure) // 55%]

Yo. If you guys have seen a girl with blue hair who smiles a lot, by the name of Ryoko Asakura... Well, I guess I've got something to ask of you if you do attract her attention, but I'd rather not put it on the journal, so please talk to me if you've met her.

['So what if that makes it seem like I might have a crush on her? Better that than someone hacks it and realizes that I know what Asakura is.']

Comments

[weaponry]

I'm not sure. I never went this long without the Malnosso's "accidental" shifts affecting me, or Luceti in general, in someway. So, I think we're due for something huge soon. Now, looking back at it, I can barely remember some of them from last of year.

[ She pauses before realizing she lacks a particular piece of information that would make it hard for her to successfully carry out this conversation without bringing it up at least once! ]

How long have you been here anyways?

[menial]

...Just the kind of prediction I like to hear.

Me? ...Seems like about two and half months now.

['And thank you for bringing it into such sharp relief...']

[weaponry]

Well, I'm not a fan of sugar coating things.

Hm? I've been here for about five months now. The only shifts I can recall at the moment are the ones that involved us hallucinating the moon was crashing into us, the thing about horoscopes, and one where you thought you were a fairy tale character. I think I'm forgetting one though.

[menial]

['What about sugar-petting things?']

...I keep hearing about that moon thing. It seems to have made quite an--['Shoot. This pun was not intentional.']--...impact.

[weaponry]

[ You are so lucky she didn't hear that. She quirks her eyebrow at the pun. That was just ....witty. She ends up laughing though so it's all good. ]


Well, that was particularly witty. It was weird though. Everyone had all of these effects that did stuff like made a person several times larger, or into a ghost, or turned them to stone or something and we felt less afraid of the moon with them on. Then the moon got closer and closer so some people packed ship and moved into the tunnels, like myself. Then we all felt the moon crash into the world but when we woke up, nothing was there. There weren't any signs of the moon crashing into something. It was all just a very elaborate prank.

[menial]

...Yeah, those Malnosso. What a sense of humor.

[He sighs.]

Guess we'll see when we see.

[weaponry]

Their witty and unique sense of comedy never fail to bring a smile to my face. [ Tenten somehow manages to say this sentence in the driest voice humanly possible. ]

Yeah. Hope it's not too bad.

[menial]

And I know you're not the only one. Rave reviews in the Luceti Times.

[weaponry]

A type of comedy that can resonate in all of us. After all, who wouldn't laugh at being crushed by a giant moon crashing into where you live specifically?

[menial]

Someone whose inner child is dead, I presume.

[weaponry]

Or maybe they were never alive to begin with. Their inner soul would have to be dead too, right after their outer soul was brutally murdered.

[menial]

...Point being, it is difficult for me to imagine anyone resisting a joke of that caliber.

[weaponry]

Well, quipping at the Malnosso and this location is one of the few things I use to cope with being an unofficial lab rat now.

[menial]

Whatever it takes to make it through, Tenten.

['I hesitate to add it, but I assume that another thing is... pets.']

What other things qualify?

[weaponry]

Certainly not pettings.

[ Kyon, you did a fantastic job of not adding things. But, Tenten figures she should bring this up now and complain she was shifted by those no good Malnosso! ]

[menial]

[Kyon coughs in a manner which, to a sensitive mind, would probably convey a certain amount of disbelief.]

...Certainly not.

[weaponry]

[ She notices that and sighs. ]

Hey. Don't let what happened from a shift give you the wrong idea. A conscious, aware, Tenten that's not being brainwashed would never allow that to happen. Do you want to know where that kangaroo outfit went?

[menial]

['It was so ... overwhelming, though.']

Well, you had recognized that you didn't even need it in order to be a kangaroo, I believe.

But yes. It would probably be fairer not to pets--pester you about it.

[weaponry]

I recognized it was fucking ridiculous the moment that shift was over. [ She wore a paper bag over her head for three days in shame. ]

Uh, thanks. I guess.

[menial]

['She is not the kind of person I want to pets---... piss off, so...']

Right. It could've happened to anyone at all.

[weaponry]

Anyone that's a pisces at least. [ At least someone finally agrees. ]

[menial]

['Why stick to fish when the eventual result is a kangaroo, though?']

Yeah. I guess it's just your sad lot to be teased by people about it regardless of blame.

[weaponry]

Well, lucky for me, people haven't mocked me for it. I think they know better than that. [ Oh, yes, they should know better than that. ]

[menial]

What would, hypothetically, happen if that were to occur?

[weaponry]

Hypothetically, the person would be stuck listening to me until they agree. [ "Polite" language for: ASS-KICKING IS IMMINENT. ]