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['End of the month. Check. Strange things appearing for no reason. Check. This would be, if I had the choice, the part where I run and hide from the experiment. However, the content that appeared is just bizarre.']

[audio]

"A fart will follow you into the car, ruining your date."

This sounds like one of those bad Western comedies. You know, the ones with lazy slacker heroes who're forced into wacky adventures...

['Wait, if I had to honestly describe my own life... As they say at home, the eye wax laughing at the snot*.'

And so he decides to leave it at that.]

[action]

[Today, then, Kyon will be found wandering around in the Welcome Center and the plaza, annoyed, because, quite according to the horoscope, his keys are missing.

'This does not bode well. Well, I guess "against all odds, you will accomplish a basic task" isn't ominous so much as simply insulting. But "you will have a chance encounter with romance today so take a bath, for God's sake"... That one could be problematic. In all kinds of ways.']

[*ooc: Japanese idiom, something like "the pot calling the kettle black".]